A few weeks ago, students’ lunch break rapidly became a launch break, and now MCPS is working with NASA to determine a way to bring WCHS back to Earth. Many WCHS students say that they need their space, but some seniors who have nothing better to do with their time have interpreted this literally. After months of careful planning and a few non-fatal accidents, this year’s senior prank finally came to fruition, and WCHS was, without warning, launched into outer space.
“I mean, I knew we wanted to launch the school into space,” WCHS senior Luna Tik said. “I spearheaded this prank. It was really difficult to design a rocket launcher that was powerful enough to send the entire school into space. Factoring in the power of the launchers, I calculated that gravity should have brought the school down approximately three weeks, two days and six hours ago. But honestly, the margin of error was about a month.”
Evidently, Physics students do not seem to properly understand the course content. The school was sent to space a few weeks ago, and it has not gotten any closer to Earth since then. Surprisingly, many students and teachers have adjusted to this new lifestyle.
“This whole space thing was super fun at first,” WCHS junior Detesta Work said. “I did not get any homework and could just float around all day. But MCPS told all the teachers over the radio that they have to keep giving us work. My math teacher kept trying to give us tests, but there was too much cheating with the lack of gravity. I could just look up and copy off whoever’s test floated to the ceiling.”
Despite all these adaptations from Earth’s newest space station’s residents, WCHS is facing a potentially dangerous interstellar threat. NASA has attempted to help knock the school out of orbit, but in the process, they have observed a UFO moving at light speed toward WCHS. After setting the computer science kids on the task, WCHS has finally made contact with the aliens.
“⍙⟒ ⏃⍀⟒ ☌⍜⟟⋏☌ ⏁⍜ ⏁⏃☍⟒ ⍜⎐⟒⍀ ☊⊑⎍⍀☊⊑⟟⌰⌰ ⏚⟒☊⏃⎍⌇⟒ ⍙⟒ ⊑⏃⏁⟒ ⏃⌿ ☊⌰⏃⌇⌇⟒⌇,” a message from the aliens read. “⏃⌿ ⌿⊑⊬⌇⟟☊⌇ ⟟⌇ ☌⍜⟟⋏☌ ⏁⍜ ⏚⟒ ⏁⊑⟒ ⎎⟟⍀⌇⏁ ☊⌰⏃⌇⌇ ⏁⍜ ☌⍜.”
All the language teachers are hard at work trying to decipher this message, but so far, they have only discovered that this language has a faint relation to how dolphins communicate. However, it seems like aliens are not the only threat to these lunar students. Even in outer space, WCHS students have failed to show a sense of self-preservation, leading to some unexpected consequences.
“One of my friends decided to wander the halls instead of helping us research dolphin-speak,” Tik said. “I do not think she thought about how her new environment would affect being able to skip class. She wandered too far and got stuck in a black hole 1,560 light-years away. Coach JT came around to ask if she wanted to join the track team after everyone heard, but I have not seen her since her last text from the black hole.”
Despite all these problems, it is admirable how quickly WCHS has adapted to its new environment. Students have come together to freeze dry all of the vending machine snacks, the fashion classes have designed space suits and the PE classes have started implementing “space walks” to encourage fitness and prevent loss of bone density for students and teachers.
“It is so impressive how WCHS was able to come together and manage this spacey situation,” Tik said. “It makes me feel less bad for getting the school stuck in space. I still do not know exactly what these aliens want, though, and that is a little worrying.”
