Undoubtedly you have turned to this section to hear something a little different, to get a breather from the news, pressure, parents, tests, opposite/same sex, bodily functions and anything else that’s just plain bringing you down, man. Whether it’s the swine flu or those damn Somalian pirates, you’ve come here to dabble in the odd and the quirky, to hear some potentially witty remarks about an erroneous topic and escape from the mundane.
I mean, it can only be expected; there have been some fantastic writers who have held this esteemed position of Observer columnist. They were young men and women who had fantastic ideas and could flawlessly execute them in suave and stylish editorials that kept readers chuckling and coming back for more.
However, I must be the bearer of bad news. As I am sure someone once said so eloquently, “The times, they are a’changing,” and with that, I am here to tell you that the column has changed hands, and I, Ben Gloger, am the new columnist.
But I have a confession to make: I shouldn’t be here, doing this. I just ain’t columnist material. I rarely have novel ideas, and I’m anything but smooth or sophisticated. If James Bond were the writers of late, then I am more like Clyde Bond—James’s slower younger brother who went on a few missions, but really preferred to just stay at home and watch his tapes. To put it frankly, I’m banking heavily on the class of 2011 to continue their absolutely absurd behavior and provide me with a continuous stream of fodder.
Yet, me not being qualified for this position brings me to precisely what I wanted to talk to you about today, and my point, which I’ll get to after I ramble for just a bit longer to take up space and get to in a second is (did you know that it is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open? And for that matter it’s just a myth that you can’t lick your elbow; a rare lucky few can do it.) that sometimes in life you just gotta grab the bull by the horns and take a big fat chance.
Now, I know what you’re saying, that your whole life you’ve been told to take chances, and that this isn’t anything new, but stick with me on this one because I think I’m on to something. See, what I’m proposing isn’t necessarily to take a “risk,” but instead I want you to take a chance. I want you to do something you wouldn’t normally even think of doing, but please don’t make it the first thing that comes to your mind. Creep…
If you consider yourself to be the studious type, who values study habits and organization and preparedness, I want you to cut it out. Force yourself, no matter how hard it is, to put the book down and for one night not even open your backpack. I want you to spend the night eating ice cream and watching awesomely bad movies (Gremlins 2 anyone?). Show up for your quiz the next day totally unprepared and just wing it, trust me I know from experience that you will neither die nor spontaneously combust.
Likewise, the same applies to those who prefer to slack off in school or just not even show up. For one day, just one day, show up to school and write down all your homework assignments and then, here comes the crazy part, complete them. If I can sit here and write a column then there is definitely hope for anyone else out there.
This doesn’t only apply to school; you can do anything differently. If you’re the kind of kid who likes to spend his afternoon inside, take a day to assemble your World of Warcraft crew and go to a park and just run around (I promise no lvl. 60 orcs will sneak up on you). If you never eat, just make one day a full pigout sesh. If you’re a rocker, take off the studs and jam out to a little Akon, trust me on this one—we all want to make love in this club right na na na. 
My point is that these aren’t life changers, but just a chance to for one day see what it’s like for people living on the other end of the spectrum. Take a chance to experience every possible option in life, to have a better understanding of why other people do what they do. Take one day to go out, do something a little different, and write your own column.