A lot of things make me angry. My friends know to brace themselves when I’m going to rant about something, so I recommend you do the same. Here is a list of the things I hate most here at CHS.
First and foremost, I hate you lacrosse players. Some of you laxers might be reading this and saying to yourself, “Hey Brett, I thought we were friends,” to which I would reply, “No, we’re not.” I hate hearing about how cised you are for the weekend, how sick your flow is, and most of all, I hate hearing about lacrosse. Lacrosse is not a real sport. This is the only place in the entire country where people are dumb enough to play lacrosse. Mix in a real sport fellas, I recommend baseball.
Secondly, I hate you hipsters. Congratulations; you refuse to conform, you’re into art and you listen to horrible music. Stop trying to tell me how great that new indie band is, stop posting artsy pictures on Facebook, and stop complaining about all the lame conformists at Churchill. Guys aren’t supposed to wear skinny jeans, hipsters, enough is enough.
Next, I hate some of the ridiculous things my teachers have put me through. I’m looking at you Spanish department. My sophomore year in Spanish I did not have a single quiz or test returned to me and was asked to just blindly accept my grade. I confronted my teacher about this and was told that I could not get my tests back, “for security reasons,” as if terrorists were after my Spanish quizzes. God help us if my past preterit quiz fell into the wrong hands! The only thing scarier than a terrorist is a terrorist with a basic knowledge of Spanish grammar.
Also, teachers, if I am dozing off in your class, but clearly making an effort to stay awake, please have some sympathy. I’ve been yelled at countless times for dozing off. My reaction is always the same, “Maybe if you hadn’t assigned me three hours of homework last night, I would have been able to get some sleep.” What is wrong with me sleeping in school anyway? I don’t snore, I’m not bothering anyone. The only person it affects is me, so just let it slide teachers.
Lastly, I hate you condescending smart kids. You are everywhere at CHS, just waiting for someone to ask you about your SAT scores or where you’re going to college. There was a girl in my junior year math class who had a sweatshirt of every Ivy League school and wore them in a rotation. Let’s have some humility people. One of my good friends is going to Penn State next year and he and I had the following conversation with one such condescending smart kid.
Me: “Hey man, I heard you got into Penn, congratulations dude!”
Smart kid: “YOU got into Penn?! Well, congratulations, I guess.”
Future Penn State student: “He meant Penn State.”
Smart Kid: “Oh, never mind then”
For all I rant and complain about CHS, the truth is I’ve had a pretty amazing four years and that is due entirely to the people here. There may be a few people I genuinely dislike, but for the most part it’s a likeable group (and I don’t really hate you guys, you’re just really annoying).
